What’s the most effective thing you do to care for yourself?
I asked some friends on Facebook. Here are a few of my favorite responses:
Dr. Carol Miner—Learning to say NO and not feel guilty about it
Becky Freeman—Drinking coffee while blasting worship music!
Brendon Paladichuk—Gym time and my Guatemala missions
Brian Jennings—Jogging while listening to sermons, scripture or podcasts and praying
Shannan Nicole Snow—CrossFit
Guy Layfield—Other than the obvious Sunday school answers… Saying no to people every once in a while.
I was overwhelmed with that bit of wisdom…taking care of yourself by just saying “no” to stuff. Saying “no” was by far the most popular response to taking care of oneself.
Remember that anti-drug campaign: “Just say no!”
Side note: I remember going to the bathroom one time during that era and seeing that message written on the urinal pad and thinking to myself, “Really?”
Is some person going to say, “I was going to say ‘yes’ to those drugs you’re offering me, but…I was going to the bathroom the other day and I read something in the urinal that I’m going to say to you right now: ‘no!”?
Have you heard that when we say “no” to something, we’re saying “yes” to other things?
On Thursday, I’m beginning a 2 month Sabbatical.
I’m going to spend 2 months saying “no” to some things so I can say “yes” to others.
I’m going to say “no” to email, texts, and Facebook messenger (i.e. whatever you have to say to me), so I can say “yes” to whatever God has to say to me.
I’m going to say “no” to ministry at Journey, so I can say “yes” to submitting myself to God’s ministry to me, so I can say “yes” to another 27 years of ministry.
I’m going to say “no” to work, so I can say “yes” to rest.
I’m going to say “no” to caring for others, so I can say “yes” to self-care.
What do you need to say “no” to? I’ll come back to that.
We used to be good at saying “no.”
It’s one of the first words most of us learned.
Let’s practice! Here are some things we should say “no” to:
Games on Facebook
That stupid post where you tell me that Jesus will bless me….or curse me…if I forward….or don’t forward your stupid post!
The Romper for Men!
I think one of the best things we can do for self-care is to say “no.”
Check this out…
And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.
Didn’t He have more He could be doing? Of course, but he didn’t.
He said “no” to work to say “yes” to rest.
Some of you need to do that.
Say “No” to work to say “Yes” to rest.
Say “no” to work on a regular basis.
Take your breaks.
Take your day off.
Take your vacation.
Take a nap!
Here are some signs that you are addicted to work, information, or things that are adding stress to your life:
Do you check work email on vacation?
Do you reach for your phone every time you come to a stop while driving?
Do you text while other people are trying to speak to you?
Are you missing memories because you’re obsessed with promoting your life on social media as being perfect, fun, and without any imperfections?
Does the idea of a day with nothing to do kind of make you nervous?
If you don’t have any time in your life where you are still you are missing an incredible opportunity to know God.
“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”
When we are still we are reminded…
Busyness is a barrier to knowing God.
I believe it’s impossible to truly know God when we are moving at mach speed.
Busyness blinds us to the fact that we are NOT God!
Sometimes our busyness only communicates that we believe that WE are the key to success—not God.
If we really believe in God, we will be willing to be still and let Him move us wherever it is He wants us to go.
God is either going to be honored or we’re going to be honored.
So much of our work and busyness is about accomplishing something for ourselves.
Imagine what would happen if we become obsessed with honoring God?
Is work important? Absolutely!
The Apostle Paul taught this.
2 Thessalonians 3:10
For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”
Work is important, but not more important than rest.
Say “no” to being everyone’s messiah, so you can say “yes” to being your ole messy human-being-self.
Jesus did. He was the Messiah, but He also knew the key to saving the world was in saving time to be alone with His heavenly Father.
35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 36 Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37 and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!”
38 Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.”
Jesus retreated a lot during His ministry.
16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Was He not doing His job? Of course He was!
Weren’t there people who needed healing? Of course there were!
Wasn’t He the Messiah? Of course He was!
But, He was wise enough to know the importance of saying “no” to being someone’s Messiah now so He can say “yes” to being their Messiah when they really need it.
Rest in these truths:
Not every crisis is your responsibility to fix.
Some of you mom and dads need to hear what I’m saying.
You are not really helping your adult children by stepping in to fix all of their problems. What you may be doing is just enabling them to be victims.
You’re not Jesus.
It’s not your job to help everyone or try to fix their problems.
Let Jesus do that and you just focus on doing what God has called you to do.
You can only control what you can control.
Some of you spouses need to hear what I’m saying. If your spouse is being abusive or hurtful to you, or being unfaithful to you, or just being a bad person, it’s not your job to try to fix them or control their bad behavior.
Seek counseling. Yes!
But, don’t beat yourself up for not being able to fix what only God can fix!
It doesn’t end very well for messiahs.
If you play the part of the “messiah” in your relationships—trying to do what only Jesus can do—don’t throw a fit and be surprised when they want to crucify you.
I’d say it’s best to let Jesus run the world.
Say “no” to the urgent so you can say “yes” to the important.
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Martha was busy with the urgent…getting things prepared, making sure they were served, making sure things were being cleaned up.
She was also busy with being a tattle-tale!
“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”
Sisters never change, do they? 🙂
Martha was really saying, “Mary is not being fair. Jesus, this is not fair! She’s not carrying her weight. I’m carrying this church. If it wasn’t for me, the programming of this church would fall apart. You better start appreciating me or this Church volunteer is out of here!”
Martha is anxious and worried about stuff that doesn’t matter.
What about you? Are you losing sleep over stuff that doesn’t really matter?
In the moment, was what Martha was doing really important? No!
It was urgent, but not important.
In the moment, what Mary was doing was more important.
What was she doing?
She sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.
Here’s a great principle: Being with Jesus is always better than Doing for Jesus.
Here’s another great principle: Listening to Jesus is always better than Talking to Jesus.
Martha was so busy trying to tell Jesus something that she couldn’t hear what He was trying to say.
How do we discern what is urgent and what is important?
What are your priorities? If you haven’t established them, do so…soon!
Where is the bein’?
Where is Jesus? Always do whatever you can to be next to Him.
What is Jesus telling you to do?
How do we hear Jesus?
Worship—Like Mary, worship at His feet and you’ll be close enough to hear Him when He speaks.
Wisdom—From the Body of Christ.
Witness—Keep your eyes open and you just may “hear” God speaking to you through things you see in the world around you.
So, back to my question:
What is it you need to say “no” to?
Let’s get real practical.
If there is something on your schedule right now that is not really important, I want you to pull out your phone right now and cancel it.
If you have not planned your vacation for this year yet, I want you to set up a reminder, or text your spouse, to make a commitment to get one on the calendar…right now!
Is there someone in your life who is draining the very life right out of you? Maybe you need to just go ahead and block them on your phone right now? Or delete the email string or Facebook string that is causing you such stress right now?
Well, there you go. I’m outta here.
I’m about to say a whole lotta “no” to the urgent over the next 2 months, so I can say a whole lotta “yes” to the important.
©2017 Arron Chambers