Yesterday, I spoke about the Lord’s Prayer and wondered what Christ’s prayer might have looked like if written by us…and by “us” I mean Colorado-Americans at large. 🙂
Our Father who’s not welcome in our schools, government facilities, High School Football games, and in some of our homes, but who we kind of hope is still in heaven—especially when we’re broke, really sick, or needing a parking spot close to the front door of Wal Mart,
How we love to say your name—not to praise you—but when we’re excited, angry, shocked, and scared.
Your kingdom come as long as it submits to the American Dream, our Political Agendas, and my personal right to life, liberty and the pursuit of unlimited happiness.
Your will be done, as long as it aligns with my will,
on earth as it is in heaven, but by “on earth” I don’t mean to suggest I want your will to be done in my home, my office, my body, or on my Facebook page.
Give us this day lots of bread—and by “bread” we mean “dough” and by “dough” we mean “money” and by “money” we mean “lots and lots of money!” And while we’re at it, we don’t just want lots of money, we also want nice clothes, fancy stuff, a big house, perfect bodies, the ability to eat out 3 times a week, a Broncos Super Bowl victory, and we want our Twinkies back, today!
Forgive us our debts, but allow us to keep our credit cards with an unlimited line of credit and let’s forget that forgiving the debts that people owe us because that ain’t happening. I want what’s mine—what’s owed to me and I want it now.
And, lead us not into temptation. Wait! That’s crazy talk! We want to vacation in temptation, so we want you to provide us a all-expense paid trip to Vegas, baby! We work hard and pay our taxes so we deserve to let our hair down, so deliver us to evil with lots of spending money for the casino, please.
For mine is the kingdom, so I want the power, and the glory
Forever and ever, Amen!
Also, here’s the link to Andrew Peterson’s excellent post on prayer and vain repetitions: Teacheth Us to Prayeth, Mortimer