Things That Hurt Marriages

April 6, 2009 — Leave a comment

I just finished a series on marriage and family life and I was so pleased with how God used this series to help some of the families at Journey.


As I was reflecting on the series this afternoon, I decided to take a couple of posts and detail some of the things that hurt marriages and some of the things we can do to make our marriages stronger.


These are just some random thoughts on some things that can destroy a marriage before it starts.


Problems–What can destroy a marriage?

1.      Openness to divorce as option.

·         1860–7,380 divorces in America; 1960–393,000 divorces in America

·         Divorce is sometimes first option instead of last option.


2.      Humanism (The “independent individual”)

·         To the humanist, happiness is primary goal of marriage and the primary covenant is to oneself.


3.      Ignorance of God’s Word

·         Many young people don’t understand God’s view of marriage and enter into marriage with little, or no, biblical foundation on which to build their marriage.


4.      Misunderstanding of what marriage is/is not.

·         Marriage takes commitment.

·         Marriage brings responsibilities.

·         Marriage is not the cure for physical abuse.

·         Marriage is not a good evangelistic tool.

·         Marriage is wonderful. . . if you marry the right person for the right reasons.


5.      Lack of good role models

·         According to a Nightline survey over 40% of homes in America are single parent homes.

·         Some young people have never seen a healthy marriage “up close”.

·         Sometimes both parents work and spend little time with the children.


6.      Pre-marital Sex

·         Sex should be viewed as a present God gives us to give to our spouse on our wedding night, but too many people unwrapped, tear off some of the paper, or completely mangle the present prematurely, denying themselves the true pleasure and wonder that can only come from opening the gift with their spouse for the first time.

·         Premarital sex always has consequences.  Two of the most difficult to deal with are the guilt and the “ghosts” of previous sexual encounters that premarital sex brings to the wedding bed.


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